Okay, I admit it... I watch Iron Chef. Not being a cook myself, I enjoy watching masters of the art at work. The Japanese show pits master chefs in competition, creating meals in an hour, 4 or 5 courses that each use a surprise main ingredient. Being a midwesterner raised on a farm, my jaw dropped open when the surprise ingredient on one show was carp, but I was also impressed to see one chef create spiny lobster ice cream for dessert.

One surprise ingredient we won't be seeing on Iron Chef is American beef, of any cut... Japan has banned beef imports from the U.S. because they consider our mad-cow testing inadequate.

When libertarians suggest getting rid of government agencies, one of the first objections we usually hear is something about the safety of our food. Who would protect us against dirty, diseased meat, etc.? Most people no longer even know which agency does that "inspection and protection" task. In our defense, there are so many agencies that we can't be faulted for forgetting a few, but we've been assured for decades that our government is taking care of it, protecting us against those evil people who would sell us dangerous junk as food. The federal agency with that charge is in fact the U.S. Department of Agriculture... the USDA... specifically their Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS)

It would be comforting to really believe that the USDA, with their familiar white-coated meat inspectors, is providing us with protection against disease in our foods, but that belief is dangerous:

USDA veterinarians are being pressured into signing false documents of safety, and agency veterans say it has been going on for 20 years. Inspectors and vets who refuse to sign have been disciplined, harassed or fired. Can't have those honest folks fouling up the system.

Mad-Cow disease has been getting big headlines recently. It sounds terrible, doesn't it? It can cause a fatal, incurable brain disorder in humans who eat infected meat. We would expect our big-nanny USDA to be coming down hard on it. Think again.

Creekstone Farms Premium Beef of Kansas is a producer of high quality beef, and it used to ship a lot to Japan (who tests 100% of cows for the disease). In order to qualify its beef for shipment to Japan, which has cut off imports from the U.S., Creekstone wants to test all of its own cows for the disease... at its own expense.

Doesn't that sound perfectly reasonable? A private firm that wants to do more testing to insure safety, and foot the bill itself?

The USDA is refusing to allow Creekstone to do more testing than the USDA believes is needed. The USDA says that testing only sick-appearing cows, plus a random sample of the rest is adequate. They're afraid that if Creekstone is "allowed" to test all animals, it will imply that those from other sources are not safe. USDA also says that testing cows under 30 months old is not necessary, even though the agency itself has tested over 2,000 animals under that age.

What possible reason could the USDA have for objecting to more safety testing?
 
1. How about political dealing between the U.S. and Japan? If the U.S. just caves in to Japan on mad-cow testing, it will reduce their bargaining power in trying to get other favorable trade moves from Japan.

2. How about caving in to larger producers who don't want to test all animals and raise their prices (it adds about 6 cents/pound)?

3. How about the USDA just being unwilling to admit that their position is wrong, and hates the idea of a private producer one-upping them?

Creekstone and other producers have completely lost the Japanese market... they've lost sales to anyone willing to pay a little more for meat from thoroughly-tested cows... including any Americans who may care enough about food safety to be willing to pay more for it.

It's about choice, isn't it? We should have the right to cheap out and take our chances with less-tested meat, and we should be able to pay more to get fully-tested meat. What's a few deaths here and there? Not much in the "big government picture". Back when meat producers lived only on their reputation, we had those choices. Now, we're assured by the USDA that even randomly tested meat is safe. If we don't believe it... that's tough. If we don't want to take the chance... that's tough. That's what you get when you put your personal safety in the hands of government. They know best, and you don't.

Well... that's not all the hot poop on the USDA, but for more exciting revelations, you'll have to return tomorrow.