Family Issues Friday - part 3

  I'm sure that if we were to poll Americans, asking whether children need some sort of protection from parental neglect or abuse, very few of us would answer No. We've all read grievous reports about parents committing awful acts against their own children. Such occurrences, when discovered, inevitably make major headlines, and we're outraged that anyone can abuse or neglect a relatively defenseless child. When we read on and find that such children are taken out of an abusive situation by government authorities, we feel relief at their rescue.

Most of us would agree that, when abuse or neglect of children is detected, someone should take immediate action to prevent further harm. Child Protective Services agencies, governmental agencies, are established to do just that, and we can all sleep a little easier knowing that children are being protected.

Or can we?

I've written often about the ineptness of government agencies, and about the hazards of granting them the power of force over us. Surely I'm not going to do the same with Child Protective Services? I really wish I could tell you that CPS is a government function that serves a great purpose, does it well, and does no harm in the process. Like you, I am emotionally torn by the thought of children being abused... few thoughts are more disturbing... and our natural tendency is to want to avoid thinking about it too long, and to feel reassured that it's being handled by someone else.

There is no doubt that CPS rescues children from abuse and neglect... that it performs what may sometimes be a life-saving role. There is, however, much more to be considered.

How the child protective system works:

Possible abuse or neglect can be, and probably should be, reported by anyone... family friends or neighbors, for example. Many people in contact with children are legally required to report possible abuse or neglect, such as medical and hospital personnel, school officials, social service workers, child care workers, residential care workers and volunteers, and law enforcement personnel. That requirement is probably the first "rub" in child protection. Many reports are made to be "on the safe side" by well-meaning individuals. One of my daughters was a physically active kid, often bruised. I recall our having to take her out in public when she had an ugly black eye (yes, accidental) that seemed to take forever to heal. If you've had a similar experience, you know that other people give you some very suspicious looks.

Once reported and investigated, a large majority of cases of possible abuse or neglect are wrong.

More than one-quarter of investigations or assessments (28 percent) resulted in a finding that the child was maltreated or at risk of maltreatment. The remaining investigations [72 percent] resulted in a finding that the maltreatment did not occur, the child was not at risk of maltreatment, or there was insufficient information to make a determination.

Better safe than sorry... right? That's easy to believe when it's happening to "others" instead of to you, but imagine CPS coming to your house, unannounced, to investigate you for abusing or neglecting your children. Imagine being questioned about bruises, and having your household examined. Imagine realizing that your attitude and your answers, and what they see at that moment could even result in your children being taken away. There is nothing "routine" about that situation. Most of us would be hard-pressed to not get defensive and look suspicious. Some of us would be irritated at our parenting being questioned, and might "blow it" in the opposite direction, looking suspiciously angry or aggressive. One of the corollaries to Murphy's law (anything that can go wrong will) is that while the investigator is there, your children will naturally do everything possible to make you look even more suspicious... and if you're a parent, you know how bad that can be.

By whose parenting standards?

During an investigation, you're being judged. Your methods of parenting naturally come into question... how do you discipline? Do you spank? Sometimes yell? Threaten? Send a kid to bed without dinner? Lock him/her in their room? Parents have honest differences about controlling and disciplining their children, and it's not unusual for parents to use different tactics on different children. If someone has a universal "best way" of raising kids, I surely haven't seen it, and I second-guessed myself all the time. The point here is that when you're investigated, you're being judged by some standard... not yours, and one that is not clearly defined. It's really up to the investigator and their superiors in that agency. The investigator will at least see the home situation and the children, but the standards are set by the agency. In typical government fashion, those who are furthest from the specific situation are likely to be the determining factor. Here's an example:

Georgia's Division of Family and Children Services forcibly removed forty-one children from parents who belong to a church that advocates spanking for discipline... but only two of the children had bruises or other signs of injury.

There certainly are some CPS workers who sympathize with parents, and understand that discipline problems with children can have results that look like abuse. They also understand that some children could test, at times, the patience of Job, but, again, we're talking about arbitrary, bureaucratic, better-safe-than-sorry agencies. If an agency had a chance to stop abuse and didn't, they'll get heat for it, but if they misjudge on the side of safety, nobody will ever know... except the wrongly-treated parents.

Could it happen to you?

 I've often written that government employees are not bad people, they're just ordinary people trapped in horrible government systems... systems based on force. I'm going to close with some comments from an experienced CPS social worker.

You may find yourself reading this article and thinking, 'Oh, that only happens to the poor. It could never happen to me.' Well, I am sorry to inform you but it could happen to anyone of us. I know. I have been the social worker who has knocked on numerous doors over the course of my six years with Child Protective Services.

Looking back over my employment, I see so many problems... problems with an agency that was supposed to be designed to protect the innocent children. But is that what they are doing? Are they truly doing what is in the 'best interest' of the child?

Children had been wrongfully removed because parents make mistakes. Not a single one of us is perfect. But could a mistake that you make raising your child cost you your child? It absolutely could!

Some of the children that I've seen wrongfully removed, were children who had been physically disciplined rather than physically abused. I would rather use other means of correcting a child's bad behavior but there could possibly be some benefit of popping a young child on their buttock area. Sometimes, a child does not seem to respond to anything else.

Many of those reading this article are of the generation that if they had done something seriously wrong then they would have their tail ends worn out. Or in school, would have been sent to the principals office for licks. Was that abuse? Or was that a simple means of discipline? Children have been removed from their homes because a simple means of over-disciplining their child was mistaken for child abuse. I have seen a whole family torn apart because one caseworker felt that a father could not ever use a means of physical punishment to correct his children. At the time I worked for CPS, their stance of physical punishment was that if there were any markings left on a child then it was considered physical abuse. Therefore, the perpetrator of this disciplining would be listed as a physical abuser. Their children are probably not going to be removed because of a small bruise on their bottom, but they are going to be listed in the CPS registry as a physical abuser of a child. That is a terrible title to label a person who was only trying to correct a child's behavior.

Next Friday, I'll look into what happens when action is taken by Child Protective Services... what happens to those children? Are they better off?